Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
