last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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