yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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