brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
