Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
