.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
