this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
