I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
