It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
