Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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