Pappa wants mamma naked
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
