I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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