I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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