He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
