Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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