I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
