nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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