id be glad to
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
