Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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