I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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