dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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