She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
