I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
