I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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