if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
