If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
