Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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