I have demons in me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
