she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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