PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
