I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
