I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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