Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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