Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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