I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
