He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
