I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
