highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
