I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i think i just lost a toe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
