i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
