so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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