I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
