she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
