there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
