I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
