i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
