How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
