I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
