How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
