I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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